What is the meaning of life?

Before I came to this country, my visions of success were simple. ¨If I can get through to at least one person, in some positive way, my time here will have been worthwhile.¨ I really meant it too. I do believe that you can change the world one person at a time. However, now that I am here, and I see the all of the problems that this country faces, I feel overwhelmed and powerless. I want to change it all. I should be talking to the president and his cabinet, not the little girl who is learning to read. She´ll get it eventually {crossing fingers}.

Meanwhile, we´ve got filthy streets and dengue fever and AIDS and prostitution and no electricity for no reason and thousands of stray dogs dying in the streets. We´ve got discrimination against Haitians and extreme poverty and teen pregnancy and child labor and unsanitary living conditions and too much cholesterol. We´ve got high drop out rates and low literacy and corrupt governments and flimsy medical care and no idea how serious these problems are.

It makes me either want to start a revolution or just give up on the whole things and take up a new career as a professional latin dancer.

I don´t mean to be too critical but I´m definitely going through a period of ¨what am I doing here?¨ I haven´t been too motivated by the training so far, we are learning how to tutor and start a youth group and analyze the needs of a communty, but I´m still trying to figure out how that will help us erradicate illiteracy in the country? When do these lessons come? One of us volunteers can be in charge of literacy, others can eliminate AIDS and discrimination. I´ve got it all figured out. As long as we split it up like that maybe it won´t seem so overwhelming.

On the positive side of things, I think something clicked with my Spanish, its getting somewhat better. Still lots of vocabulary to learn, but I´m getting there. Also, I adore my host family here in Nagua and have a great time just sitting around talking to my new host brothers and sister. I haven´t had any serious illnesses yet, which is always a plus. I´m really looking forward to finally being on my own and settling down into a community and starting to work. I´m sure once I have a focus I won´t be so overwhelmed.

I promise next time I´ll stop complaining and will post some pictures. Hope you´re all enjoying the fall!

Joan (back to Juana)